2022-04-04
I was never really taught on journaling, I just wrote them since I was seven and just let my thoughts wander and wonder to let the words flow on to the screen or to the paper.
one of the reasons why I enjoy this method is because I tend to sift and come to a new realization at the end of this random writing. Yes, if it’s something I intended for you to actually read, I would put more effort in restructuring and make some grammar checks before posting this, however this is just where my thoughts just flow onto the screen. I just hope I’m making more sense before my eyes squint and start chiseling things out of the wall of text thinking there’s better way to rephrase things.
I did however read about different journaling methods as I’ve started to pick this ancient habit of mine as I thought there are better ways to do this and never bothered to explore the options. I’ve come across bullet journaling, while it’s a great starter for people to start writing about what was done and what still needs to be done. Please do point out to me the benefits of doing this journaling in a long run because I am having a hard time justifying myself. Or I’m just stubborn to change.
But here’s my reason for doing this free flow writing for journaling and I hope it makes sense.
It takes a snapshot of me in this very moment.
I will always be me but I change over time in small increments and over a long period of time, I will change for sure. Many years later I can read my old writings and look back to say ‘huh so that’s what I thought it was important in my life.’ Every moment is precious and opportunity for reflection and journaling is a moment of reflection of the day. I feel if I leave what I did today would leave out what I think and feel about highlights of the day.
It’s almost like a letter to myself in the future, if I ever read it.
I moved to a new place about six months ago and stumbled across a box that hasn’t been opened for two decades. The box was all worn out and needed to be discarded and its contents needed a new home, thus I took the contents out and turns out it’s my old things I considered precious back in elementary school days. Journals were part of them. It was written in pencil and many of the writings were blurred out due to rubbing and just faded over time but I can still make out some of the things I wrote and sometimes it felt like it’s something I was leaving it for my future self. There it was, a letter to myself in one of my journals. It was written when I was graduating from elementary school and writing to my future self in middle school with some expectations of the life and questioning what kind of memories I would make there. Past me, you have no idea how dull middle school life was, elementary school days were better with more carefree days. Too bad I can’t send this to the past but enjoy the days in the sun while you can!
There’s some sort of revelation from time to time.
I don’t write everyday but when I do, I try to think about what I felt or thought about something happened today. I think as I got older there’s less time for me to think about my thoughts and having some conversation with them and journaling offered that space for me to have some understanding of my thoughts and feelings and their underlying causes. Mind you it’s not hundred percent efficiency but it is better than not thinking about it. I come to terms with certain things lot faster when I talk to myself about some of the issues. As I’m writing I might come to a realization that I was not yet aware of. Right now, nothing is coming to me but I just remembered why I started writing this in the first place.
ROTFL I was so stupid today.
This is the main point of my writing today because I did find it funny after many hours and a lesson for me to remember.
I enjoy going to Ikea and browse the second hand section to find random things that looks like something I can use for completely different purpose than its initial intention. I found a nice piece of board - I have no idea what it was part of nor the label said what it was - but somehow I envisioned I can use it as a keyboard tray, IF I have the sliding unit. So I browed the web to find on in amazon and ordered it and it finally arrived today. I skimmed over the instruction and spend decent hours on installing the thing, but I caught a snag. the tray was flimsy and kept falling off.
Usually I would think that this would be my fault but this was a bit different and here’s why. The kit came with no instructions and upon looking up online, I learned it didn’t have enough screws for construction. Hence my respect for the product dropped a bit. I skimmed over the instruction and concluded I’m an adult and I am smart enough to make this without consulting a piece of paper.
You know where this is going.
I made the whole thing and the tray was falling off and I couldn’t figure out why and I concluded that it’s the screws. I went through my own screws to replace them and still it was wabbly like a seesaw. I almost gave up but then I looked at the screws… turns out I had to assemble the tray’s latching unit BEFORE mounting it. I looked at the manual and surely that was the order or assembly. I felt stupid.
Just because the kit was missing some elements, the hubris took over and I suffered.
Now I’m going to remind my future self to no matter what, always read the manual thoroughly, whether it’s missing couple of screws or not.
There, another journal of what I did today and my lesson with some wisdom for my hopefully smarter wiser self in the distance future to read and laugh at myself.